Rethinking Anxiety: Notes from Tim Box’s TED Talk “How to stop feeling anxious about anxiety”

Key takeaway: We can take a new perspective on anxiety, i.e., we can view anxiety as our friend or our “crew” — anxiety does help us across parts of our lives, but sometimes (or often) anxiety can creep up when it is neither wanted or needed. We view our brains and these moments of anxiety with more compassion, accepting anxiety instead of fearing anxiety itself or fighting too heavily against it.

• While I experience anxiety, I no longer suffer with it
  
• I used to do all I could to retreat to safety – it turns out that was my big mistake: you don’t get rid of anxiety by trying to get rid of it; the truth is, you don’t get rid of anxiety at all.
  
• Every anxiety sufferer at some point says they want to get rid of anxiety completely; in a world without anxiety, this room might be empty; anxiety is the feeling that tells us that when something is worth demanding our attention – in some small way, it was anxiety that told you you had somewhere to be today; without anxiety, you likely wouldn’t have thought studying hard and making a career was worth bothering it, makes you check your keys, reread an email, makes your heart skip, etc. – in this way, anxiety plays a role, it’s important, and almost everyone feels it.
  
• During thousands of conversations with anxiety sufferers, when asked what they were most anxious about – it was how anxious they were about their anxiety, how anxious they felt, and if it would ever stop; this because they viewed anxiety as an illness, but anxiety is not an illness, it is important; anxiety is no more sinister than any other feeling we have; if we didn’t have anxiety, we would be one feeling short of the full set.
  
• An analogy: Think of your mind as a ship – every ship has a captain and a crew; in this analogy, Captain is logical / rational part of your thinking and knows how you’ll get there, the crew though is your subconscious – which is responsible for your thoughts and emotions. If we regard something as dangerous, crew might move us away from danger to comfort; if we believe we’ve been wronged, crew might feel anger. 
  
  • For anxiety, it is when something is too important to simply lose focus of; it is the voice of concern about an event or situation that refuses to be ignored; it is the crew, saying to the captain – “you need to pay attention to this!”
    
  • Your crew are constantly trying to steer you in the direction of happiness; ships in harbor are safe, but that is not what ships are built for; even harsh words are trying to steer you away from any situation that we feel we might not be able to cope with – any decision your crew makes are based on things you’ve learned throughout your life, often when you’re young; as far as anxiety is concerned, your crew will often make mistakes; but just because they get it wrong doesn’t mean they’re the enemy – we shouldn’t believe our mind has actually turned against us.
    
• Things I did to change:
  • I refused to believe I was ill – I decided not feel anxious about feeling anxious; anxiety was never random, it was always triggered by situation or thought process; I always spent too much time pushing my crew away, if you ignore someone, they might start to shout; I tried to listen to my crew, to see what they were trying to achieve with this; when the crew stops shouting, the captain can be heard and more logical thinking can be heard.
    
  • If you’re anything like me, you spent a lot of your life beating yourself up – the person who has given you the most criticism is likely you, it has maybe even destroyed morale on your ship – even the slightest challenge might create anxiety. You can always talk to your crew – to yourself – with kindness and positivity. People do their best when they’re empowered.
    
• Of course anxiety is real – but because we feel this way now, doesn’t mean we can’t change it. First step to changing it is accepting it – we need to accept it not as our enemy, but as our friend, and then the crew can get back to steering the ship. 
  
• If you’re anxious today, good, that means you’re alive.