Our brains get a lot of things wrong – our brains make predictions, they’re often not accurate. And behaviors that follow are often self-sabotaging.
A technique called cognitive-restructuring can help restructure our thoughts
Cognitive distortions — these are common ways people distort their thinking
We catch the distorted thought – and we label it, then tell ourselves something a little more positive, or rational and helpful — if we do so, our mood can improve, and our behavior can improve
Common distortions:
All or nothing thinking — black or white thinking, there’s no grey area
Overgeneralization — seeing everything as going wrong or through a negative lens
Mental filter — taking one negative experience and blowing it up
Discount the positive — ignoring everything positive
Mind reading — predicting what another person thinks about us
Fortune telling — predicting something negative will happen
Magnification — blowing things way out of proportion, often envisioning the worst case scenario
Emotional reasoning — looking at emotions as facts
“Should” statements — using “should” statements – we’re guilting ourselves, we’re criticizing ourselves – or other people
Labeling & mis-labeling — judging ourselves or others
Personalization — taking everything personally
Control fallacy — when a person believes they have no control over their life
Fairness fallacy — fallacy that everything in life should be fair
Fallacy of change — expecting others to change
Always being right — internalizing thoughts/opinions as facts
When you catch yourself doing one or more of these distortions, try to reframe it in your mind. Try to re-narrate your thoughts and the story.